“Fuck you too.”
“Fuck me? Fuck you. Fuck you and this whole city and everyone in it. Fuck the panhandlers, grubbing for money and smiling at me behind my back. Fuck the squeegee men, dirtying up the clean window shield of my job. Get a fucking job. Fuck the Seeks and the Pakistanis bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming out their pores, stinking out their day; terrorists in fucking training. Slow the fuck down! (Ever think about getting one of those operations that elongate your penis?) Fuck the chesley boys with their wax chests and pumped up biceps; going down on each other in my parks and on my piers; jiggling their dicks on my channel 35. Fuck the Korean grocers with their pyramids of over priced fruit, with their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic. Ten years in the country; still no speake English? Fuck the Russians in Brighten Beach; mobster thugs sitting in cafes, sipping tea in little glasses, sugar cubes between their teeth; wheeling and dealing and scheming. Go back where you fucking came from. Fuck the black hatted hasceedum; strolling up and down 47th street in their dirty gaverdeen with their dandruff; selling South African Apartheid Diamonds (Come on, your wife deserves this.). Fuck the Wal Street brokers; self styled masters of the universe; Michael Douglas, Gordan Gecko wannabe mother fuckers, figuring out new ways to rob hard working people blind. Send those Enron assholes to jail for fucking life! You think Bush and Cheeny didn’t know about that shit? Give me a fucking break! Tanko, Inclone, Fadeltia, Worldcom…Fuck the Puerto Ricans; 20 to a car, swelling up the welfare rolls, worst fucking parade in the city, and don’t even get me started on the Dom and the Kens, cause they make the Puerto Ricans look good. (Who this fucking guy? Get the fuck out of here!) Fuck the Benston hurst Italians with their palmated hair, their nylon warm up suits, their Saint Anthony medallions, swinging their Jason Jiandie slobbered baseball bats, trying to audition for The Sopranos. Fuck the upper eastside wives with their pyrenees scars (Taxi!) and their $50 Baluichi artichokes; overfed faces getting pulled and lifted and stretched all taught and shiny. You’re not fooling anybody, sweetheart. (TAXI!!) Fuck the uptown brothers. They never pass the ball, they don’t want to play defense, they take 5 steps on every lay up to the hoop, and then they want to turn around and blame everything on the white man. Slavery 137 years ago. Move the fuck on! Fuck the corrupt cops with their anus violating plungers, and their 41 shots; standing behind a blue wall of silence. You betray our trust! Fuck the priests who put their hands down some innocent child’s pants. Fuck the church that protects them; delivering us into evil, and while you’re at it, fuck J.C. He got off easy; a day on the cross, a weekend in hell, and all the halliulas that the leaguend of angels for eternity. Try seven years in fucking Odasville, J! Fuck Osama Bin Laden, Al queta, and backward ass, key dwelling, fundamentalist assholes everywhere. On the names of innocent thousands murdered, I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your 72 doors, roasting in a jet fuel firing hell. You tell him camel jockeys can kiss my royal Irish ass! (I notice how many of what I once thought were evidences of repression…) Fuck Jacob Balinski, (sexual or otherwise) whiney, malcontent. Fuck Francis Xavier Slatery, my best friend, judging me while he stars at my girlfriend’s ass. Fuck Natural Ravera. I gave her my trust and she stabbed me in the back, sold me up the river; fucking bitch. Fuck my father, in his grief, standing behind that bar, sipping on club soda, selling whisky to fireman and cheering the Bronx bonds (Lets go Yankees! Lets go Yankees!). Fuck this whole city and everyone in it; from the roehouses of Astoria to the penthouses on Park Avenue; from the projects in the Bronx to the lofts in So ho; from the tenements in Alphabet city to the brownstones in Park slope to the split levels in Staton Island. Let an earthquake crumble it. Let the fires rage. Let it burn to fucking ash, and then let the waters rise and submerge this whole rat infested place.”
No…no, fuck you Montgomery Burns. You had it all and you threw it away, you dumb fuck!”